If you suffer from insecurities and want to know how to overcome imposter syndrome, then this post is for you. Wikipedia describes imposter syndrome as a psychological occurrence in which people doubt their skills, talents, or accomplishments and have a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud.
This was not a familiar term to me, until I was listening to a podcast about a year ago, and they were talking about it. The irony is that it was two very successful people who were sharing their stories, and for the first time I realized I was not alone.
Although I was somewhat relieved to know this feeling was something others experienced, I was a little disheartened that they didn’t talk about ways to overcome Imposter Syndrome. It is great to know it has a name, and others are dealing with it, but how do you fix it?
There are so many times in my career, where I was waiting for the moment when somebody would point their finger at me and call me a fraud. My poor husband takes the brunt of my insecurities, and luckily for me, he always helps me work through it. Although I have received many promotions over the years, the majority of them did not occur because I raised my hand for them. It’s not because of my lack of drive, instead I was afraid of failing. Could this be the time they label me as an imposter?
An interesting aspect of Imposter Syndrome, is that many people you think exude confidence, are potentially the same ones who suffer from this. Usually this individual will work really hard to be good at what they do, and are highly regarded, they just never feel they are good enough.
One thing to highlight is that there are many people who really are highly confident. However, those that experience Imposter Syndrome, prefer not to be praised in a group setting for fear of feeling like they are being put under a microscope. The confident individual is more likely to perk up during these moments and often volunteer to be in the spotlight when the opportunity arises.
Since it is difficult to know what triggers Imposter Syndrome, it will be interesting to see if the recent tech layoffs will add to the numbers. With people losing their jobs unexpectedly, regardless of performance, you have to wonder if more people will experience Imposter Syndrome in the future.
As stated earlier, it’s great to understand that others experience this, but the bigger question is how do you overcome Imposter Syndrome.
If you read on I will share some tips that have worked for me.
If you want to overcome Imposter Syndrome, you need to first identify you have it
Are you someone who consistently doubts your performance and lacks confidence when others are telling you differently? If you are, then you may suffer from Imposter Syndrome. I would encourage you to take the quiz here to help answer this question.
Once you identify you have it, then read on to find out ways to overcome Imposter Syndrome.
Talk to others about what you are experiencing
If this is something you are experiencing, then talk to others about it. There is nothing to be ashamed about. You might be surprised how many people you talk to share that they are experiencing the same thing.
Luckily for me, after talking with others about this, it helped me to understand what my insecurities stem from. This has made it much easier for me to tackle this head on. Depending on how extreme you are, you may want to seek professional help to work through this at a deeper level.
But start by sharing with close friends and family that you trust.
Control what you can control
There are so many things in our life that we can’t control, which is why we need to focus on those things we can. Live in the moment and focus on the task at hand. Don’t worry about the what ifs because the what ifs may never come so who cares.
You can control your work ethic, getting projects completed on time, being present and other aspects of your work day. You can’t control change or somebody not liking you so don’t focus your energy there.
Acknowledge and track your successes to overcome Imposter Syndrome
Whether you journal regularly or keep a list of your successes near your computer, having a regular reminder is key. If you are having an off day, or are considering a new role, this will be an easy reminder of all the great things you have accomplished.
This is no time to be humble, and it’s not meant to be shared, so be sure to capture everything.
Nobody said you had to be perfect
There is something I am going to say that might surprise you, but here it goes. I am not perfect and neither are you! Nobody on this God fearing earth is perfect, so stop striving for it.
We will all make mistakes, and there will be things we won’t have the answer to, but everyone experiences this. This is the way life is meant to be.
When you continuously strive for perfection it will be a constant battle of trying to overcome Imposter Syndrome. Although I still encourage you to raise the bar high, please make sure it’s in reach.
If you make a mistake, own it and talk about it
As we talked about above, everyone will make a mistake or two in their lifetime. When this occurs, just own it and talk about it with others. More times than not, it’s the anticipation that causes us the most stress, so don’t procrastinate. Once your secret is out you will realize it wasn’t as big of a deal as you initially thought.
The important part is to own it early, so you can focus your energy on what is more important. Like fixing your mistake.
Treat yourself as you would treat others
Stop beating yourself up and repeatedly putting yourself down.
First, nothing good will ever come of that. Secondly, you deserve to give yourself as much love and forgiveness as you do to all the other beautiful people in your life. Treat yourself with respect and start celebrating all that you are.
We only get one life, so start embracing who you are, and stop wasting your time living in fear. Feel blessed, be thankful, and focus on all of the positives you have in your life.